After the First Date - Advice on Giving the Right Messages to Keep Him Coming Back for More

Published: 20th December 2011
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First dates can be nerve-racking and it doesn't stop there. Even after the first date, it seems like you constantly have to watch what you say and do. This is because we are continually communicating on various levels and giving out subtle messages. When you are dating, it is particularly important to give a good impression both verbally and otherwise. A man who doesn't know you is easily put off if you get it wrong. Read this advice to find out how to give the right messages to keep him coming back for more after the first date.

So, you got through to the second date. You've obviously made a good impression. Now all you have to do is make sure it stays that way. When he feels good with you, the attraction levels will be high and he will keep coming back for more. Try to think about the things that went well first time around and do more of the same. Although you will have wanted to look your best on the first date, I always advise holding something back for next time around. Hopefully, you will not have put all your cards on the table and will pull out all the stops to look even more stunning for your second date.

Remember that early mutual attraction can spell danger. Don't be lulled into a false sense of security because you have a second or third date. You are not in a relationship yet, even if his words or actions seem to say otherwise. Take it nice and slowly and allow him to make some effort for you. This gives the message that you are not easily won, which makes it fun and challenging for him. He wants to pursue you. Plus, when you finally let him catch you, he will appreciate you a lot more.

Even if you feel that you have known him much longer, you must stay wary. The topics of conversation that you choose will be a factor in how he feels after the first date with you. Make sure that you stick to positive topics that let your good points shine through. Fun and enthusiasm are the order of the date. When you give out the message that your life is interesting and fulfilling he will instinctively feel that you are someone he would like to continue to get to know better.

Whatever you do, don't talk yourself down at the beginning of a relationship, however safe and secure he makes you feel. And don't talk about your history of bad relationships. It is tempting to open up your whole life to him, warts and all, if you feel things are going well. However, this is where many women go wrong and then they wonder why a man suddenly disappeared after a great date. There will come a time when you can be more open with him but now is too soon. Make sure that you get to know him and can trust him first.

Listening is an important part of communication and if you can genuinely listen to what a man is saying and allow him to be himself, this is a most attractive quality. And don't be scared of silence in between conversations - use the opportunity to flirt a little by smiling and looking into his eyes. You will give him the message that you are secure in yourself, which is better than babbling incessantly if this is what you are inclined to do.

Another part of dating which many women get wrong is that they are not prepared to deal with issues as they arise, and issues always arise sooner or later with a new man. It is important not to get upset or angry if you want to continue to see him, so calm down and think before you raise the issue in a calm and polite manner. Of course, if he is genuinely out-of-order then you should not see him again. Learn to value yourself enough that you don't let a man take advantage of you early on. Show him that you won't put up with bad behaviour.

It is good advice to think also about how you will act in between dates. Be sure to give him the message that you are interested without seeming desperate. If you start pushing to see him often, he may well start to think that you are needy. So don't text and call him constantly or he will soon get bored. If you've let him know you are interested, then you can let him initiate future dates if he is so inclined. This helps you to separate the men who are lazy and uninterested from those genuine admirers who are prepared to make an effort.

So even after the first date or three, this advice will continue to be important because all these factors will affect how your man will feel about you. And when he feels good about you, he will want to see you again. Keep on giving him the right messages to keep him coming back for more. However, if you get something wrong, don't beat yourself up about it. It is common to make dating mistakes and practice will help. That is why it is never a bad thing to meet lots of men if you are serious about finding Mr Right. See dating as a challenge and a learning process, keep on trying, and you will get there in the end.

To succeed at dating and find a strong, loving relationship, you need to understand what really makes a man feel good. There is a certain type of woman that a man is irresistibly attracted to. She knows how to captivate him and communicate with him to draw him close and get him to respond in the ways that she wants. You can learn to be the type of woman that men adore and never want to leave. Alternatively, find out how to make him melt when you learn the real answers to the question " What do guys find attractive? "

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