When Men Don't Call - Why Calling or Texting Him Will Not Make You Feel Better

Published: 11th March 2011
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New relationships can promise so much but they don't always deliver. It all starts out nicely. He texts you and calls you and you have a couple of dates. He seems really into you. This must be "the one". Then somehow, just as you're getting hooked on all that attention, it stops. You haven't got a clue what's going on. Why has he stopped calling? Men obviously don't want relationships. And why does this always happen to you? So, should you call him to find out what is going on? Before you do, read this article to find out why calling or texting him is not a good idea and will not make you feel better.

When a man stops calling, it can be a painful and frustrating experience for you especially if you are already emotionally invested in him. You're itching to text or call him but don't know if you should. You absolutely need your fix - not hearing from him is tearing you apart. You feel that if you could just get in touch, everything would be OK; you could make it all better. You just have to speak to him. Desperate for contact, you pick up the phone. With trembling fingers you dial his number...

Or perhaps you text him. It could be a one liner asking him where he is. Or maybe it's a full-blown rant letting him know what you think of him for not staying in contact. You think you'll feel better. You need to let off steam and let him know how bad you are feeling.

Now one of these things happens. He doesn't reply to your text or there's no answer when you call. Perhaps you leave a message but get no response. Maybe you text again, this time you sound more angry or more desperate. Or, even worse, he answers but he doesn't sound too pleased to hear from you. He's busy with something and he has to go.

Do you feel better now? No, you feel even worse than before. You still don't know what's going on but now you're sure that something is wrong. You had to ring or text him but you didn't get your fix. Your mind goes into overdrive. He's gone off you? Why wasn't he pleased to hear from you? You start to obsess. Is this the beginning of the end? Are you losing him?

That one call or text may not have changed anything in your relationship but it sure feels like it has. When this happens to you, before you take any action, this is what you need to know. It's inevitable that guys are going to pull back from relationships at some point and when they do, how you handle yourself is going to be the difference between dating success and dating failure. If you go running after him now, bombarding him with texts, calls and emails, he is likely to run a mile. When you present yourself as desperate, he will not want to hang around.

So, when you think that you will feel better if you can just speak to him or hear from him, you are just kidding yourself. Of course, there is always the chance that he will be pleased to hear from you, but sooner or later you are likely to meet with one of the responses above. When you text or call him, you take the risk of being disappointed. And when you are invested in getting a response from him, and it doesn't happen, you risk letting your negative emotions go into overdrive.

You don't have to obey that impulse to ring him. You don't have to get all flustered just because you haven't heard from him for a few days. Losing your cool will generally lose you the guy so keep your cool and wait for him to come back.

Yes, you can give him a prod to let him know you are interested, as long as you can deal with the consequences for your emotions if you get no response. If he doesn't respond, don't keep trying. Let him go and get on with living. Don't be tempted to let him know how bad you feel. Any negative communication at this stage is not going to achieve the result you want. If you keep your cool, the chances are that he will be back but at the very least he will remember you as one cool lady who kept her dignity and that is someone that a man doesn't easily forget.

End the agony over why and when men don't call - find out when it's OK to call and text a man and how to ensure that he can't wait to call you. It is essential that you learn to handle texting and calling men effectively if you want to experience dating success and get your guy. You can also visit my web site to find plenty more early relationship advice.

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